Friday, October 29, 2004

Scary Movies

Yesterday was the most unproductive day of me being in the office. Plus, I finally broke my policy of not wasting my time elsewhere during office hour by playin bowling today. Finally got beaten by others especially by those gurls and I deserved it. Padan muka...sape suro ponteng!! the way..good game gurls!!

Bowling wise, I've played the worst game of my life. Tried to play the hook but didnt work and ended up playing straight ball. I remember the days when I was so fanatical about bowling and played almost everyday at South City. I just got back from Melbourne at that time and I spent almost every night at the bowling center. Played my best games at that time hahaha...well..thats history. Mas told me that I couldnt play well if she's around...well I think you're lah..memang my day off laa tadi..ape pon tak jadi.

Back to the policy thingy...have you ever break your own rules??....If do you feel about it. Well in my case, I felt miserable about it...a bit mad..and angry towards myself. Except that I couldn't do a thing to myself and just being unspoken for some time while typing this entry for my blog. Maybe its not a big deal tho..i dunno..just feelin bad about myself.

Prior to the bowling thing, I went to Hosplital Putrajaya with others to visit Dr Hajah Fatimah. She's gonna have operation for her tyroid tommorow. Surprisingly, she seems cool about it and was in high spirits as there were a dozens of faculty's staff who are visiting her as well. Never been to an operation before though...I'm wondering wat's the feelin right before goint the operation theatre...mesti kecut perot kan..

Never been operate in my life...even stitches..nearly got stitched though....happened years ago..where I almost got stitched in between my forehead and my eye because of head to head collision with another player while playin soccer. I was trying to head the ball but didn't see the other player who tried to head the ball as he was comin from my blind side. A big thud occurred and I just realised myself still alive when I was already lying on the ground. Suddenly a friend of mine shouted, "oi darah!..darah!!"....blood just pouring down like waterfall from my head resulting my white jersey turned into red. I went to the clinic..and the doctor said straight way that I could've had stitches. Finally after some detailed examination of my forehead..he said, "nasib baik tak dalam..kalau dalam sikit lagi, memang kene jahit". I just went..phew.After the left eye turned 'lebam' for the the rest of week.

original ju on hollywood version

ET showed me a trailer of The Grudge...liked it very much..thinking of watchin it...eventho I already watched the japanese version. Just like The Ring, this movie i think will be somewhat a copycat of the original version. Unlike The Ring, The Grudge still boast the same director and (even the same japanese ghost boy)for the movie, plus Sarah Michelle Gellar and Bill Pullman. I remember when I was watchin the original version....I was watchin alone at the livin room. It did scare the s*** out of me..especially the scene when the ghost suddenly appear under the blanket alongside a women.... berdiri gak bulu tengkuk aku ni...but still nak tengok bring all your family to watch this movie...hehe...

Jom aa farid..tengok...

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Lost in Space

Feelin a bit sleepy and weary for the whole workin hours today..i js dunno why. I think maybe I haven't recover from the invigilating disease(sleepy, exhausted of waiting and waiting during the exam), originated from the IPTS. I haven't been that bored for such a long period of my life actually!!..A week of virtually doing nuttin during the day...arrgghhh...!!!.

Pleased myself a bit today as I finished all the claiming thingy with Kak Bahyah. Some said the claim could take months to be approved. What the long as I get the cheque...I think I would be alright about that.

Watched the movie berlari ke langit last night but I could only watched the first cd...the story was too slow...except that it has excelent cinematography...beautiful smooth along the way. They make full use of the beautiful scenery of the beaches..I think it was in Terengganu. In terms of shots and images...this movie is a winner..even so.....I couldn't cope with the pace of the movie...too freakin, it involved that jiwang2 thing...duhh!! Just gave the cd to ET(ko pon tengok citer camni ke?? hehehe) to watch it then...I was so bored that I didnt bother to watch the second CD.


Went thru some journals that I've downloaded from the Internet...that I thot could give me some ideas on the Phd thing...and suddenly I'm lost..just got nowhere to go...didnt know what to do and what to think I just turned to this blog to write something.


I met kak salmi in the morning when I was just arrived at the faculty. She suddenly asked, "Mak tak niaga kat pasar ramadhan ke?". "Errm...tak niaga tahun ni", I replied. "Nape??", she looked curious. "Oooo..mak tak berapa sihat", answered me with a solemn face. "haritu sebelum puasa pon mak tak niaga gerai kan..",she became even more curious, bout my mom I think.Then I told her, "errr...mak tak sihat..die asyik demam2 je..pastu kaki die sakit" with an explanation that didn't explain everything actually. "Sekarang mak buat kuih raya je kat umah", I added. Kak Sal knew my mom for such a long time, she's also kinda a regular customer at my mom's gerai.


On the other day there was this one staff who out of nowhere entered my bilik tutor. I was at the printer, and then he was like sniffing in this room. "What the hell is he doin??", I said to myself. Suddenly he said..."hmmm...eternity!", with yoda like expression after some thinking. I was kinda stunned....he has the abilty to determine the brand of perfume that I wore!!. He must have this range of perfume brand database along with its smell up in his nose and brains. I asked him how could he distinguish the perfume...and then..."Alaaa..aku tau laa..ikot bau je aku tau laa minyak wangi ape" proudly and kinda egotistically he said. Menyampah heheh...


It is the 13th day of Ramadhan today and I was still thinking that we just started the holy month. I didnt think about hari raya too. But hey..I'll be celebrating raya here at home this comin raya...can't wait to celebrate then, but at the same time, I'm feelin very sad as the end of Ramadhan is drawing near..... To all my muslim friends, have a pleasant mid-Ramadhan and to non-muslim..don't eat or drink in front of us heheeh!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Video Killed the Radio Star

Glad that I've already finished the IPTS thing...all had been sort out. Thanks to Lan coz he helped me carry those exam papers to the PPL and to Kak Bahyah downstairs. To tell you the has been a very dull week for me...nuttin much to do during invigilating the exam.

I watched a Korean war movie 'TaekGugi' in video cd..(I always pronounced it as Taik Gigi). From an asian movie perspective, it was a brilliant war movie (way too advanced than Leftenan Adnan). The battle scene between North and South Korean soldiers were so explicit...we can see people got teared apart after being blown up....severed limbs...all those gory and bloody scene...js like in Saving Private Ryan. My friend told me that the movie is the most expensive movie ever made in wonder thay can depict the battle in such a detailed manner. Well basically the movie tells about the relationship between 2 brothers...both were soldiers but the elder kinda being overprotected towards his younger brother.

There were couples of sad moments too, especially when it showed their loved ones died during the war huhuhu... (cannot tell u la sape..nanti tak thrill...)...I recommend u guys to watch this movie. But errr...bile mesia nak buat movie mcm ni haa?..local so called war movie yg bebaru ni tak berape laa...

Heard that Puteri Gunung Ledang is nominated in the last 50 movies for Academy awards. Wow!!...hope that it will advance to the final 5 only the movie could be nominated in the bangga laah. Actually I'm very into movies...tak kesah laa movie melayu ke mat saleh ke... That's why la ET..u always seems surprised when I said about actors, actresses or movies that u think I didnt know or watch...I am a movie bufflah..thats what I am (kembang idong...hins hins).

Actually I got some friends who are reluctant to watch Malay movies. I also got some friends who like it very much. The justification for us to watch malay movie(apart from the quality) is "sape lagi nak tengok filem kite kalau bukan kite.". In terms of patriotism, that is correct, but people dont want to pay 9 to 10 bucks just to watch some crap isn' it? I'm not against Malay fact I do watch Malay movies. Maybe its time for Malay movie go the next level just like PGL. Not everyone can match the cost of making film like what PGL had...well its actually the idea of the movie and how they put it in the celluloid that matters. Just look at Thai horor movie, Nang nak...i dont think that kind of movie cost millions to make it wouldn it??

I remember this one Malay movie that I highly rated which is called 'Rahsia'. It was a horror movie and it does scared the shit out of me..dulu laa, and the most important thing is its originality. I dont like romantic movies though..u know...movies like Cinta Kolesterol la..Cinta Kuliah laa...Hollywood romantic movies even (Bollywood ape tah lagi), maybe I just dont click with romantic movies (but that doesnt mean that I'm not romantic heheh...err yeke??)... only into action, horror...comedy and family..hehe.

Actually I bought 'berlari ke langit' video cd along with 'taekgugi'. BKL has won an award on best cinematography at the recent Asia Pacific Film Festival in Japan. Planning to watch it tonight...hope that it wont dissapoint me.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Sports Illustrated

Still got 2 days left to invigilate the IPTS exams. Didnt do anything when I'm invigilating the exams, except wandering around the exam room, lookin for some good lookin girls...then had a chat with 'em...after the exam laa..hehe.

Nuttin much to write though, except that I am now eager to watch THE match of the season...Man Utd vs Arsenal. The match is on Sunday 11pm, and it'll be shown live on ESPN...have to make sure that I booked the TV set before my sister heheh (she too will watch it anyway).

I asked Dlyn bout the match and she told me that she knew bout the match(she likes Micheal Owen), but that's just it. In this one exam, there was this lecturer from that college and he showed me a pic of Man U in the newspaper that I brought into the exam room. "Sape akan menang?" he asked. "Entah lahh...tapi kalau Man U jumpe Arsenal selalu die kuat", I replied while trying to hide the fact that I'm on Man U side. "Sokong Man U ka??", he asked again with a bit of Kedah slang. "Yupp", I said, and glad that he too is a red Devil Fan. From then on we talked about football...tactics, players and what not.

Well, suddenly came into my actually women got attracted to football. I know that there are women who played it, but all the famous and popular players and competition are all about men's football. So in which part of football actually that attracted women to be the sport's fan??Its like when I chat with my friends..guys yg minat bola...we can discuss about tactics, about players...we could discuss about it since we all play football..and I think guys like me and my friends at least have the reason to be a fan of how women go about this??Do they like football because of the players...I know that most of them are good lookin( all the mat salehs player laa...yg local pon ade laa kot tapi tak banyak)..especially players from Spain..Portugal.

Men do like sports that played by women, but that sports is also played mostly by man as voleyball...bowling..badminton. Actually football still need women that when there is an opportunity to score by the opponent, and the girls will go aaaaaaHH!!!...especially when we bring 'em to the stadium. So the environment will be much more thrilling and spine chillin I should say..hehe. It's not an offence for women to be a fan of football..I just wondering why did they like about football...thats all.

Actually I didnt have any descent idea to post into my blog so I just wrote bout this. To all my friends who finished invigilating...take care and drive carefully.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Purple Rain

Today is the 4th day of me, in charge as a ketua pengawas peperiksaan at Cybernetics(cyber whut?) College at Maluri, Cheras. Ketua??..Not much of a ketua though...seems like I'm handling all the things down here during the exam, but heyy..actually I didnt expect to be such a ketua..I already knew that I would only become 'orang biasa' here. Luckily I had Dlyn with me, bole gakk sakat2 as usual. Except that during this Ramadhan my degree of menyakat was not as high as in the other months (why haa???...anyone tell me?? it got to do wit setan kene ikat during ramadhan??..hehe). I expected this Ramadan to be a 'hot' terms of weather lah. Luckily theres a few rains pouring down in the city during this couple of days and made the day alot cooler.

Got to know this guy, Abg Mus as he is called, he was such a nice guy. The coolest figure at the college (compared to the others) and it was nice hangin with him. He was actually the only one from the pioneer batch of lecturers that 'survived' up until now. Others might had gone to other places and some of them are working here in FSKTM.

Gettin to the college by Fakulti's big white van, drove by Abg Pian. I always sat in front along with Abg Pian...gayat siot, because the van got this huge glass panel in front and the view was handful to watch compared when I was driving my Kancil (wugu as Kak Ghe call it). Since the van was quite high, so it was like, the driver wouldnt have any problem in manouvering it, everything is visible..crystal clear. Abg Pian also fetched us up from the college at the afternoon and drove us back to the faculty. Always chat with Abg Pian during the ride...such a nice and funny lad...always threw jokes when I least expected him to do.

One thing that I like best now is, after 2 year hiatus, I'm back for terawih prayer here in my hometown Serdang. Since I wasn't here for a couple of Raya, now its like all the memory of Ramadhan are comin back to me. I went to Pasar Ramadan at Sri Serdang yesterday, and I was like...hey this used to be my spot where me and my family jual2!! not this time mom said tak larat laa..tahun ni buat kuih je.

Before I went to further my study, i always buka puasa with my family...not at home..but at that Pasar Ramadhan. During the Ramadhan after finishing the lecture(still studying at UNITEN at that time), I'd rush to the Pasar Ramadan..and help my mom and dad at the stall. Just before the azan got started, there would be some of the penjual who'd gave some foods and drinks for free. The Pasar Ramadan are always crowded, especially in the early until the mid of Ramadhan as UPM students would still be around before the holiday break. Except when its raining, business wont be that good, only a few would be comin to the Pasar Ramadan.

Just collected my C++ paper to be marked. So I have to be in the faculty at night after terawih prayer. To all of you who are 'out station' for the IPTS...take care and buat amal jariah banyak2.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Wishing Stairs

It was the first day of Ramadhan, kinda tired today since the workload for today is somewhat too much too handle. I had to finish all my task today since I won't be in the office from 17th till 25th Oct..jaga IPTS.

In the morning, I had to get all the papers from pejabat kewangan and put it in my room..which I had about 31 envelopes of exam papers altogether. 3 times climbing up and down the stairs in the early morning while lifting all the papers..pheww. Finished uploading my room with all the papers at around 10 am. Then went to see kak Bahyah (again) to get Puan Zaiton stamp since I changed program with Dlyn (kene belanja McD ni..) for the IPTS exams thingy.

After that, me, Lan and Dlyn went to the Fakulti Ekonomi to get exam papers which are handled by other faculty. My tiredness of lifting all the papers before this seems to evaporated as all of the sudden there's this one girl who happens to be the staff of that faculty, helping us to find the exam papers at their UPL. I think she's cute heheh...just couldnt get off my eyes from her cute her smile..errrr tiba2 je..dalam otak ni..weii..bulan pose mana boleh tengok lebih2
Got back from the Fakulti Ekonomi at around 11 am...just moment after I arrived in my room..Kak Ghee(bukan minyak sapi) got a call and she told me that HOD wanted to see me. Rushed downstairs to his room...he asked me to get the list of software and hardware in the labs that are used by the Sc Comp Department. My watch was showing 12 pm at that moment...hmm..lepas Friday prayer laa buat.

After the Friday prayer...(which I nearly missed..coz I slept at home...hehe), went to see Kak Lily to show the report of my Java students' marks and grades. She said its okay and had to submit it to Dr nasir. After submittin the report to Dr nasir, I went to see Itabela and Kak zan to get that list of s/ware and h/ware that Dr nasir asked for. Wow....I think I 'm gonna blow my heart off...bloody there was this scorching heat..arrrgghh...bloody hot!!!

Feelin a bit tak puas hati yesterday heheh...even until today...because Dlyn and Kak Ghee said I was 'terlalu kontrol' when I was being an emcee at the seminar couple of days ago. They said that I was 'different' when I was in front of the audience...too serious they told me. I couldnt stand the word kontrol actually...coz I'm afraid they would think that I purposedly did that...but actually I thot i was natural habis dah...maybe laa org tengok kite lain...but I being an emcee, we should be polite and serious kan...takkan nak hoha hoha mcm dalam bilik boss was there in the nervous richter scale almost reached record high at that moment.

Thank you for all the comments...needed that MrM..about the ayah thing..takde pape laa..main2's yur bahu...OK ke?..keep commenting ya!!EON...I still can't forget the jokes that u threw during the volleyball match at MIMOS...the one that u and alfian mentioned some names remember???

Others will be busy jaga IPTS..including me..
wishing u guys..all the best in invigilating your IPTS exams..happy invigilating...jaga diri baik2..(yg jauh2 tu jgn lupe bawak souvenir ok)..gotta go now...Telly Ho!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Stir of Echoes

Glad that I've managed to finish up marking my Java papers last night, and put up all the marks into the SMP. Prior to that, I accompanied Farid and ET to a restaurant at SS for dinner...farid ended up eating burger at Padang. He really pissed off with the restauran coz they were very slow preparing his dinner. Unlike farid, ET got his meal on time..almost.....

Hate that SMP....very tedious kind of system to use, and I think chances that the user will make mistake are very high since the user have to key in all the marks for each student into the system manually.

Actually I went to the faculty at 8.30 pm, rushed to that restaurant with farid and ET, but because of the 'slowness' of the restaurant, I just started entering the marks into the system at 10pm ...and finished it up at almost midnight. Had a very short crash course using SMP with Kak Lily in the afternoon...but still faced some problems when I was using it...had to SOS ET for that. Thanks for your help...err..not so much help though..except that u have to come here back and forth 3 times...heheh

Attended a taklimat for the IPTS thingy at noon. Since this is my 1st time in charge on IPTS exams, I had to listen carefully on what they are discussing, especially those words from Pn Zaiton and En Arif. Actually I was a bit nervous when I got to know all the things that I have to do when I'm in charge in the IPTS exam. So much to do...and every little thing that Pn Zaiton and En Arif announced should not be treated lightly. In contrast, others were jokin and makin fun during the taklimat......diorang dah biasa perkara2 begini...aku je yg gabra...We were treated with nasi briyani after the has been such a long time since I had those kind of food...after the meal..was still feelin hungry though..nak tambah seganlahh

In the afternoon, I went to the DKAP, to invigilate an exam. The subject is taught by Pn Norwati and she's the ketua invigilator. I was kinda late actually...when I arrived, all the students were already started answering their paper. There were familiar faces in that exam halls, since there were the same students who are either under my supervision for final project or my java students. There supposed to be another guy who should invigilate this exam together with me and Pn Norwati. Maybe he wont come......

Then that guy was Wa'ang. I actually knew him since I was a kid. He's a friend of my dad when my dad was workin here in UPM. I remembered that he always cakap slang negeri sembilan. Anyway, when I started to work here, I never said anythin bout knowing him or bout may dad to him until today..segan laa. After the exam ended, he seems trying to chat with me and asked me where do I live. I said..."kat sini je". "Oooo..orang selangor laa..kat mane??", he replied. "Serdang je..sri serdang..", I replied.

Then the question popped up,"Dulu ayah keje sini ke??", he asked. "A-a...kat bendahari", I answered. "Sape nama...", he asked, and I have to reveal then..."Orang panggil ayah saya abang sahak..abang kenal ke??", which I actually knew what he gonna answer. "Laaaa..tu best friend abang tu...masa keje dulu slalu minum ngan die..gelak2 sama2...mak ko pon sama..dulu upm slalu tempah mee laa minum po somuo tu kan..mak ko la yg buek tuu..sumo aku makan" he replied with a bit of negri accent followed by a smile.

Actually I've got some more people here in UPM that I knew since my childhood as they are still workin here up until now. Malas laah nak reveal..takkan mendadak nak terus bagitau..hey saya anak abg sahak laa kenal takk??...malu la kan?

Feelin very tired in the afternoon...played some table tennis though. I quit playin at around 6.40pm as I couldnt even hittin the ball properly. Gotta get back home now,since I'm gonna follow farid and Farid's and maybe ET to the mines. Farid's reminder is echoing in my brain right now, " Ko jangan lambat plak..kol 8 tau!!"...Ciao!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Conspiracy Theory

Another hellish day for this spoilt student who thinks she's the 'darling' of her faculty(from other faculty though). Actually she's the daughter of the dean of the faculty that she's studyin in. She's taking an IT subject from this faculty.

2.00 pm :
Met the big boss at the stairs and interviewed me on the spot about the exam questions on a subject that I've compiled. The exam ended yesterday. He was asking how did I make that question and I said I didnt made it, I just compiled it. Those questions were made by the part-timers. I told him what had happen I held to the words, 'berani kerana benar'....hope that helps laah...although it wont be helpin at some occasions..

My big boss actually got a student's complaint and it was about she could not answer most of the questions in the final exam which was made by this faculty. That subject' coordinator happened to be me!!!...

2.10 pm:

Met the HOD,and he told me that, the student(the daughter of the dean of a faculty) could not answer the exam bcoz her lecturer(part-timers) did not cover all the chapters in that subjects and this would jeopardise her chance to maintain CGPA 4.0. When I heard that...I just when...what!!!!...what the hell is happenin here!!!(dalam hati laa)..Just because the student is the daughter of a faculty of a faculty...that doesn't mean the student can get what ever she wants!??? What if it happens to a son of peneroka felda or pekebun getah..or ordinary people like me...would the complain be entertained???..I bet it won't.

I'm not blaming others as I also trying to find my mistake out of this mess. Maybe I was being careless in compiling the exam paper...i dunno. When I was being asked bout whether I showed the exam questions to the part-timers after I finished compiling it, I said no as I submitted it to the penilai soalan as according to the procedure.

Then there was this dialogue between 2 'big' people of the department on the phone(it happened in front of me...but othe receiver of the call didnt realise I was there), and the receiver said.."Saya rasa Iskandar ada ubah la soalan tu...aritu saya tengok lain". Swear to god, I never changed any of those questions, I just corrected some words and numbering on the exam paper thats all. Someone is makin me a scapegoat down here!!!!!!

5.30 pm

Got a call from a women, who happens to be the part-time lecturer of that student. She told me that, before the exam starts, the student emailed her. The students told the lecturer in the email, that she's worried about her carry marks was not up to her marks, as she deserve higher marks than what she got now. The lecturer seems very angry towards her student, and feelin dissapointed on what had happen as she got the blame for this situation. The lecturer also told me that she alredy covered all topics in the syllabus and even organised kelas tambahan!!!The lecturer then forwarded the email that she got from the student to me.

In the email, the student said that she deserved gettin higher marks because she had done marvelously on all the assignments and labs(Duhhh!!!...she's not qualified to have said that) She also cited that she had won award of best student of the faculty and another award of best 1st year student in this uni(so what!!!) She also stated that she's a 4 flat student and if she did not score that subject, that wont help her in maintaining her 4.0 CGPA.(who cares!!) This would also worryin her mom too. (cant be bothered!!)

Got another email from this student(forwarded by the lecturer as well) tellin that she said sorry to the lecturer. She also said that she actually had asked her mom(the dean of her faculty) not to tell bout this whole thing to my big boss. However she said, her mom broke that promised and told my big boss about the whole situation. (conspiracy maybe??)

After that only all this thing started, which also pulled me into the situation. I was afraid that I would be the target of all this mess since I'm the one who compiled the questions. Nevertheless, the part-time lecturer did tell me that those questions actually did cover everything that is in the syllabus.

This situation really pisses me could a so called academician(a dean even) using her power so that her daughter will get excellence results???. She's actually using her power to fulfill her own (and her family) needs. From then on I started to think...maybe she always got to maintain her CGPA pasal lecturer kat fakulti tu nak mengampu mak die...err.. I think thats a bad accusation...wasn it??But when it comes to subjects from different faculty..there she goes...she's not that brilliant after all...I dunno laa..actually tengah tensen ni...

Moral of the story:
My friends..if u guys are in such powerful status..for what ever reason...please...dont misused it...and dont use it to hurt other people feelin or even physically...remember..what goes around comes around...if not in this the afterlife...who knows..

Monday, October 11, 2004

Freaky Monday

5.45 pm:
It was a freakin tiring day for me today. I was in charge as an invigilator for an exam in the morning at the DKAP, and then rushed to DB for another exam. I wasnt an invigilator at the DB but, I was the one who compiled (compiled ??) the final exam for this one subject. The subject actually got no full-time lecturer attached to it, only part-timers, I am the penyelaras, and had to co-ordinate everything related to the subject as well as the final exam.

All the questions that I've compiled into the final exams were contributed by all the part-timers. . It is understood that there is no official order or command, from the HOD or what not to asked them to come to the exams. Even so, they should've come to the final exams to see how the things goin during the exams, but just a couple of 'em came. But did they(absent part-timers) ever think that one of the students could have asked questions during the exams...who should answered it?? I bet the invigilators won't be able to answer those questions related to the exam sincez they are the not the ones who taught 'em. So, I was there to adhere to any questions asked by the I'm the one who taught 'em all along the semester....

After the exam ended, while I was counting the OMR paper, then there was this voice..."Errr..encik Iskandar...hantar OMR ke BTM petang ni jugak tau...nanti bole dapat cepat markah". Hello!!!...I'm tryin my best here!!!...Like I have the speed of speeding bullets...even Clark Kent could slap that person if he's in my shoes. I stayed in the DB until all the exams paper is counted, and matched with the count of attendance slips...with just a couple of invigilators from...possibly 6.

"Kalau ada bayar baru laa buat soalan final exam"...for me that shouldn't be said by people that are called academician (refering to the part-timers)..At some point sincerity is needed ..I think so laa. I dunno laa..maybe sekarang dah lain, orang kejar duit sahaja..or am I wrong...I was so tired at this point. My mind is screwed up altogether...

11.36 pm:

Went to TGV to catch 'Bourne Supremacy' with farid, et and lan. Was helluva spy movie...much much better than those Bond movies. Matt Damon was so cool as Jason cunning (we will get to know his true name by the end of the movie) One thing I like the most was the car crashes...bloody real!!!

Before going to the cinema...a very sad thing mobile got drowned in air tebu :-(...such a long story by the way.........ET and farid...rilex..its not your fault..bende dah nak jadi..but..if only I could turn back time!!!!..When will we be having car just like Delorean in the Back to the Future huh!!!...might be handy in situation like this...

Friday, October 08, 2004

Think Tank

It has been 3 days since I last blogged. Did a lot of thinkin during those period, but got nuttin interesting to write in this blog though. Did I mention that I did alotta thinking just now??..really??..omigosh...kinda surprise actually that I did say myself doin some

On the thinking part....well, I would say yes and no actually. Yes in the matter of thinking on what should I do for my Phd. No is when I found this one website for downloading mp3...after that...dozens of song just cruisin into my hard disk..without thinking just downloading and listen during the office hours.!!..taking Phd???...This kinda question also popped in my mind when I was still deciding on pursuing my Masters couple of years ago. I never thought that I would continue to further my study. I thought that degree was enough for me and doing further study is not my main aim. I also thought that I've had enough of study...enough konon....

Alhamdulillah...I finished my masters and again, at that time, I said to myself....masters is enough for me and had enough study...had to find job..need money!!!. Come the tutor job opportunity....was told that I had to further study to continue workin here. Actually alotta my friend did encourage me to take the post here in UPM and continue my study. "You're still young...continue laah...bagus tuu", one of them encouraged me. Surprisingly it didnt impressed me that time laa. When my parents entered the list of people who encouraged me, things changed

Maybe they have their way to pujuk me to take the tutor job when actually I was still wanting to enter the IT industry. Never that I wanted to despise my parents, but I wanted something fresh and challenging to do in my working career. However when I listened and do what they've adviced to do, eventhough it was hard, good things did happen to me. They gave us advice without wanting any rewards from me.......they just wanted me(and all of their children) to be successful (sebak....)

My dad told me...when he was just finished his secondary....he could not further his study to a college because his family couldnt afford it. He got some chinese friends who managed to further their study coz all of 'em are rich. So when he told me that right now is the time that I shouldnt miss the opportunity...after he said that...I was kinda lips were sealed..and seem that I could not refuse it. They never paksa but the reason that they gave me to listen to their advice is the one that I dont have any logical answer to go against it.

Sometimes we need that special person or situation to makes us realize, that we are actually capable of duin things...things that we initially thought can be done only by people that are 'tere'. The problem with me sometimes is I looked myself down, I always assumed other people are better than me...just by lookin at their 'gaya' or style.

Nevertheless, I still feel like I am dreaming coz I never thought to go this far....still gotta lot of things to do though...'perjuangan masih belum selesai'

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Victoria's secret

Feelin gulty today as I might have mistakenly revealed a friend's secret to other people and my big mouth!! I didn't mean to do that actually, and I'm sorry for that. Even though it's not a very big thing for me, secret is meant to be kept as a secret, and I shouldnt've done that. It does not mean that I'm not good in keepin secret, trust me, other secrets (especially those that have very high stake) are safe at my vault.

We as human beings are bound to have secrets. Its because we wouldn't want others to know our true identity or true colors or even our dark past that could tarnish our image or perceptions among friends or relatives. Some secret are kept within ourselves and some by our friends so that our family wont know about it and vice versa. Secrets that is unkept, could result anger, hatred or even killin to some certain extent.

I also have some secrets that I just kept it to myself and secrets that are kept by peoples around me. It's not that I really wanted to have secrets, but its just a mechanism in not lettin other people to know who exactly am I(macam superhero plak...). Actually, I wish not to have secrets among friends (close friends I mean) but like a say in Malay 'rambut sama hitam, hati lain-lain'. Its not about some friend would tease u or what not, but every person got his/or her own perspective and opinion, and some opinions might not pleased us.

One situation that is very connected to me in terms of keeping secret currently is...havin split personality. Currently,there are more than enough medium for us to practice split-identity, be it on the mirc, ym, skype...or even in the blog. Some might just bravely being themselves as they sticked true to their own identity, while others might wanna have more than one identity just because they don't want others to look them differently based on what they would say in those medium. The latter could produce secret-keepin situation as its own identity might have kept by the owner itself or might even be kept by his/her friend as well.

Person who is keepin his/her friend's secret should be careful in what they say, and to whom they say bout anything. This secret-keepers might have to lie to their relatives or friends in order to not to reveal the secret. Interesting enough, there are people who wants to know about someones secret, by acting as a secret keeper even though they actually dont know any thing about it. the person that I 've mistakenly broke his/her secret...I'm really sorry..seriously..feelin bad...really-really bad bout that :(

Monday, October 04, 2004

Mix 'n' Match

Feelin dissapointed last nite because of Man Utd's EPL result. Man utd just drew 1-1 with Boro despite seas of opportunities that they have and squandered. They should've won the match, and one player that I salutes for the whole 90 minutes was Christiano Ronaldo. His twist and turns, as well as his unbelievable pace, made the Boro defenders worked overtime. Credit to the Boro youngsters though as they cooly absorbed the pressure and jeers from Man Utd fan at the Theater of Dreams, and secured a valuable point for 'em.

Enough with football.....nuttin much for today since there is no lecture as the final exam starts today. Got dozens of students came knockin on my door in the morning, asking me questions on the finals, carry marks and even taking their quizzes. Got teased by my office mates, because I 'layan' couple of my students whos stayed at my room for some time. To clarify this....actually those student were takin her quiz, and they did asked me questions about quiz and final exams, and obviously I had to explain to her on that right??Nuttin more than that...Hey...I'm a professional heheh( with a big grin on my face).

Got an advised from a colleague, not to be 'too close' to another friend as that friend just broke up with her boy friend. Well my dear friend-who-advice-me...(I'm not angry at u though...seriously...and..I'm sure you're readin this hehe)...never in my mind that I wanted to 'main2' a women or a girl. That's just not me and I never had special interest on her, just being a friend in fact, nothin more nothin less.I think it's okay in just being a friend with her right?? But the fact that my friend (who advised me) told me about women or girls are fragile right after they broke up with their man is right I presume. In so many cases throughout my life, some of my girl friends (kawan perempuan) just 'simply' accepted or attracted to some guy(who she didn't like previously) to be her boyfriend, right after they broke up with their old boy friend.

I'm not sayin that women are that 'itchy' to have guys beside 'em one after another, but what I'm tryin to say is, some women who were just break up, are very fragile (emotionally...based on my observation la). They keen to have someone who could replace his old flame instantly ,thus, could easily attracted to his friend or someone who is close to him (i mean a guy friend laa). Sometimes, this kind of girl might think that a guy, is attracted to her, even though the guy was just being kind to her(happened to me....teheheheh) . This situation do occurs to men too, so basically, its all the same(but errr... guy who just broke up and then attracted to me never happen la heheh).

Problems would occur when the guy(who layan die baik2) started to realise bout the gurl's (who just broke up but needs special attention) behavior towards him. The guy could be reluctant to ask the gurl the statur of their relationship coz he might be accused by the girl of being 'perasan'...and the same might goes with the gurl even...

So, what I could get from all this is, If I was to be too close to a girl who just broke up , I would've gave her 'harapan'.....or am I wrong? (girls out there please comment on this..or guy even??). Actually I'd never thought of givin people hope especially to a friend, as I was just being kind and that's it. Even so, I'm not intimidated or feel offenced by the advise, but rather I found that, women's feelin are very complex for a man to understand as a whole. So many women that I've encountered, none of 'em had made decisions or action without mixing with their feelin. In some occansion it won't be a frailty though, while men without mixin feelin in their decisions or actions, at times, are just like robots or no 'hati perot'. That is why both men and women are complements to each other.

On the other day, there was a student, and she's one of my C++ students and told me, 'Lelaki tere (handal) programing sebab lelaki byk fikir lojik tak mcm pompuan!!' . If that so, why there are so many women lecturers here in the faculty then, I told her. She just replied, women are just like that, always put too much emotion on things, on simple things even (tahapehape ntah jawapan die).

We are all but not perfect, and its not wrong tryin to be perfect in what we do. Mind us, sometimes we should put aside our emotion in order to give the best, out of ourselves, and sometimes we dont have to. When or where, that's something that we should give ourselves a thinking to do.

Feelin tired already, but still wants to play table tennis afterwards. Chiow..

Friday, October 01, 2004

That 70's Show

Today is the last day for me to do my lecture and starting from next week , it will be the final exams. I remember those days when I was preparing for my finals during my degree...full of stress, tension and ambiguity!!!...Some lectures do give tips on what could possibly be in the finals, but some didn't. It means that I had to cover all the topics that sometimes I didn't read or even look at the notes except when I took it out from the printer, and that was it. It was a total nightmare when I had to race myself to cover those subjects without any tips given, plus other subjects. Actually its all come back to me....I should've studied right after each topic is finished and I should manage my time better that what I had at that time. However, I've got it all through, Alhamdulillah....

I went to the 'public lecture' at the admin building, and only one word that I can describe it....YAWNNNNN!!!!! One thing that I found shocking was about how the speaker gave his speech. I dunno maybe its a new way of giving speech but. In between his speech, there were two videos shown and was running about 20 minutes each. Actually the speech was about UPM should go back to where it belongs, which means,go back to its prime motive long-long ago when it was first established...which was to focus more on agricultural research than other things. The first video was about poverty in Kedah...and the other one showed the advanced agricultural technology center in Korea.

The first video showed that, we still got poverty in the rural area and the way of agriculture at that place,are much to be desired. Except that the video shown in his speech was, I think happened in the 70's!!!??? So what's the point then, I mean, that area should've been developed by now and those farmers should've use machines rather than using their own hands or animals. Its not that I'm against anti-poverty campaign, but please be sensible on what you're showing to the public. The guest were all academicians and Uni's big shots for God's sake!!.

It's always been like this; if a mistake done by a man who is influential enough and has power, no action will be taken whatsoever, eventhough the mistakes could sometimes tarnish the image of the organisation that he represents. It's totally a different story if, a guy,a simple guy perhaps, did the smallest of mistake, the result will be somewhat a harsh punishment.It's not a fair world to live in afterall, and its not the world in fact, rather its all back to the humans when it comes to unfairness.

Another thing about the public lecture was about how they prepare their foods. The lauk were marvellous; ayam goreng, sambal udang, mee hoon goreng and nasi goreng. For some reason I don't know, they just give piring to serve the guests, instead of plates. Cheapskate!!...nak tambah segan...and there's more!! After I had those food including the sambal udang, my stommach was in great pain (was about to blow in fact)!!...I straighaway ran to the faculty, said hi to kak gee and ran to the 'bank'!!! Hey!! what did they put in that sambal huh!!!?? Actually can't complain coz its all free food afterall. (tapi pasal sakit perot tu mmg tak puas hati)

It's almost 6 pm and going to play table tennis with Lan then.....chiow